| But Did You See How Many People Saluted?... It's not just his Playboy centerfold lady friend or his serpentine tongue that makes KISS bass player Gene Simmons an ideal candidate for a post-rock career as sex columnist, it's the man's utter depth and sensitivity to the needs of women. In the September issue of FHM, Simmons says that, when being introduced to a lady, you should keep things simple. "When I meet an attractive woman," the 51-year-old says, "I don't think, Gee, I wonder if she's read the latest thesis by Stephen Hawking. I think, She's got great tits, and I want target practice." Who can resist charm like that, eh? But tell us, Gene, are there any other ways for a girl to catch a fella's attention (if perhaps she's not target-worthy)? Here's one: Why not hang nude on a flagpole outside your hotel room? Simmons says it happened with one suitor. "She couldn't get down," he says, "so they had to call the fire department." She was one of the lucky ones. Most of Gene's ladies don't get off that easily. |