Top Ten Advantages of Being the Smallest Man on Earth

9. It's a great way to make the Guiness Book without doing a damn thing.

8. Excellent chance you'll be cast in "Fantasy Island: The Movie."

7. People stop you on street and ask, "Aren't you that dancin' baby from 'Ally McBeal'?"

6. Exciting and lucrative career as poodle jockey.

5. Can get bitchin' tan under the French fry lamps at Burger King.

4. You and tallest man on earth can go to bars and beat up medium guys.

3. Can get restaurant tables by saying you're Michael J. Fox.

2. You're 40 years old, but your doctor still gives you a free lollipop.

1. One can of Budweiser and you're sleepin' til Easter.

As presented on the March 26, 1998 broadcast of the Late Show with David Letterman