Guest Stars:
Betty Bridges-Nacasio as a Clerk
John Cirigliano as Man #1
Willie Garson as District Attorney Frank Shea
Robert Lee Jacobs as Greg Stone
Synopsis:
The Biscuit, a.k.a. John Cage must have forgotten to perform his Barry White mantra before he left the uni-sex because the day he met our stringy heroine it was right after he’d been arrested for soliciting a prostitute. "I'm going to criminal court, I'm afraid of criminals, maybe that'll change now that I work for one," Ally complained when she heard about Richard’s partner. They did however share their first bonding moment when John said he was called the "little biscuit" in college & Ally said she was called "the popsicle."
David E. Kelley slowly begins to guide us into his quirky view of life as the turtle-like Judge Boyle inspected Ally's teeth & John's case was dismissed by reason of attorney hygiene. Though this did not prevent her from giving us all a nervous minute as she envisioned the judge indulging with a hooker.
Apparently in Ally’s hypocrite oath, sexual harassment is perfect elegance as long as the client (Ronald Cheanie) that Richard ‘suggests’ Ally date is as handsome as Tate Donovan. Things go awry on the double date as Ally spied (yes, she actually was quiet enough to do that) Richard’s lover Whipper playing overtime tongue hockey with the aforementioned Ronald.
Peel away a chunk of that armor as Ally found out Billy had a hooker at his bachelor party. "I cannot believe the things coming out of you mouth, but then again considering where it's been I guess I shouldn't be shocked," Ally spewed at her former flame.
Despite the fact that Ronald had the nerve to question the integrity of her firm and barely batted an eyelash when she asked about Whipper, or more likely because of it; Ally planted a kiss on him, though she found the results more in line with the fantasy of a white Vera Wang wedding that quickly turns into a Wal-Mart marriage. In a great line of dialogue sure to make any Ms. subscriber cheer, Ally informs pal Renee, "I saw a piece of cute meat & I said to myself go ahead be a man."
"This account is a potential cash cow, you don't have to do the actual milking," Richard told Ally when she expressed concern that dating Ronald was seriously teetering on the border of prostitution. Meanwhile, The Biscuit decided in his infinite wisdom that it would be best to explain his indiscretion to the entire firm, this episode apparently being Kelley’s bid to earn the world’s oldest profession a little respect, next up, lapel ribbons for awards ceremonies.
After being told one too many times that she was snappish by Elaine, Ally finally unloaded on Richard that Ronald kissed the owner of his favorite wattle. "Even people we call your honor don't have honor anymore," Ally commented about Judge Whipper Cone. Playing Cupid, Ally helped Fish and Whipper reconcile, and dismissed Ronald.
Ally and Georgia were still perplexed by the hooker thing, so as a little Mars and Venus bar experiment, Georgia invited a guy to have sex with her & he said yes; that being the difference between women & men. Ally tried the same thing but ended up hitting on Greg Stone her brother's roommate from Bates; that being the difference between Skipper and Barbie. "Maybe it's because they say love is about making compromises & that's why they all get themselves into compromising positions, they can call it research whatever it is I don't think I'm going on it," Ally.
"The idea that when people come together they stay together, I have to take that with me when I go to bed at night even when I go alone," a McBealism. Ally free-styles with the twins again, pausing the fruitless search for her very own elusive Mr. Big.
AM-102 ©1998 Almost Human