|Here are some of the memorable quotes used in the show|
- Claire: "Richard, Richard I don’t want to pry but are you all right?"
Richard: "Sure why wouldn‘t I be?"
Claire: "It‘s just that... over the last few days you’ve been well... working and it‘s not like you."
- Claire: "Richard I want to tell you something about myself that not many people know. When I was born, unlike other women the almighty gave me a little... a little dial. "
- Richard on Liza: "She‘s even more naughty, more cunning, more delicious than Ling and Ling was amazing."
Claire: "You‘re romanticizing cunning Ling, Richard."
Richard: "Men do that."
- Claire: "We‘re going to be a team Richard. I‘ll be the one speaking softly and you‘ll be the one carrying a big stick."
- Claire: "Hello, I‘m Claire Otoms and you‘re well, you‘re lovely."
Wilson: "Thank you."
Claire: "You would be a little bachelorette treat to help celebrate my upcoming nuptials would you?"
Wilson: "I‘m a new attorney here, Wilson Jay starting today."
Claire: "Wonderful. If I were ten years younger I‘d invite you home for a nightcap. You‘re wonderful."
- Claire: "Hi Nelle, Christmas has come early this year... this is Wilson."
Nelle: "Yes, we‘ve met. Hi"
Wilson: "Hello, is it Morgan."
Nelle: "It‘s Nelle"
Wilson: "Am I in the girl’s room?"
Claire: "It‘s unisex, here a Cage, Fish & McBeal we... we don‘t distinguish between the sexes."
- Nelle: "Claire?"
Claire: "Oh Nelle, hello."
Nelle: "What are you doing?"
Claire: "I‘m going to the little girl‘s room."
Nelle: "Any reason you couldn‘t use the door?"
Wilson: "I think she was looking for me."
- Claire to Ally: "This man fitles with pipes for a living, why not let him have a wee go at yours"
- Claire: "So sorry to intrude but I have news."
Richard: "You‘re pregnant."
- Claire: "No but you’re on the right track."
- Claire to Ally: "By the way have you and Victor had a little chaffing of the loins yet?"
- Jerome upon first meeting Ally: "Claire speaks so highly of you."
Ally: "Oh, Thank you."
Jerome: "How‘d the sex go with Victor."
Claire: "Jerome your manners. It hasn‘t happened yet."
- Ally: "3 months wow, that‘s really fast to be getting married isn‘t it."
Claire: "Well Ally if I moved at you pace I‘d be well, dead."
- Claire: "Ally between us girlfriends, I’m not a young woman and my supply nectar is running low and what little is left has curdled."
- Claire: "Pre-nuptial?"
Richard: "Well Claire you have money he doesn‘t we just want to make sure your protected."
Coretta: "Have you even broached this with him."
Claire: "Well I did mention protection once, he put on a condom."
- Claire to Jerome: "Well it‘s true I enjoy playing hot dogs and buns, it what‘s inside that counts."
- Maddie on Mary Ellen‘s death: "I think she checked out during fear factor."
- Claire: "Ally there is something that nobody really knows about me."
Claire: "I‘m slightly over 50."
- Claire to Ally: "I wish I could look at love as clearly as you can."
- Claire on Maddie smoking: "Better not catch her doing that around me, I am flammable."
- Richard: "I never worry about money, right Claire?"
Claire: "Why worry when you can obsess."
- Raymond: "Sweet sixteen."
Claire: "When I was that age I had to beat them off with a stick."
- Claire: "I still don‘t know why you take me along on these missions."
Richard: "To take notes you know my attention span."
Claire: "Look at the way all these prisoners are staring in my direction, they all want to ravage me."
- Claire interview Serena‘s father: "She didn‘t say how you whacked her mother."
- Judge Walsh: "Why are you even here?"
Claire: "There was a rumor you might smile today. I guess not."
- Claire: "I would hate to see such an important case affected by the... elephant in the room."
Judge Walsh: "What elephant in the room?"
Claire: "On your Honor, neither of us can deny that there is a certain sexual energy between us."
- Claire: "First of all I didn‘t make advances, second of all at my age I advance like continental drift."
- Claire: "He who refuses to be hurt by love Richard, ends up destroying himself you know."
- Claire: "I must say it‘s been quite a while since I‘ve been welcomed into a young man’s hole. It‘s lovely."
- Claire to Richard: "Pain doesn‘t decompose when you bury it and that is a Claire Otomism."
- Claire: "Helping people is my thing, it‘s my trip, it‘s my shtick."
- Claire: "I‘ve been given a pink slip and not to wear I‘m afraid."
- Claire to a co-worker: "You‘re lovely and don‘t you fill out your trousers nicely."
- Claire: "Hello Elaine we‘re going to be counterparts."
Elaine: "I‘m sorry?"
Claire: "I’m going to work at Cage, Fish & McBeal. Isn‘t that wonderful, wonderful news. Do you even have the words?"
Elaine: "No. Claire let me first address another crisis."
- Claire: "I can sing."
Elaine: "Do you know ‘I‘m a Woman‘?"
Claire: "It‘s my theme song."
- Claire: "Well John one of us isn‘t being entirely honest with ourselves is he?"
- Claire: "When I was very, very young I was the image of you. Which gives you an idea of what you’re going to look like in a year or two. But there was nothing like that little spark when you met that special someone, even my nooks & crannies tingled. Now I‘ve gotten a lot older they tingle vicariously. Now I’m tingling for you and... Glenn, he‘s lovely."
- Claire: "Ally, I’ve always found the funny thing about love is, it‘s the one game you lose by refusing to play."
- Claire: "Little Jenny your lovely, you sounded some what thicker on the telephone I’m afraid but your not your lovely, your slim, your almost exquisite."
- Claire upon meeting Raymond: "Well I hope you on my side, oh Jenny isn‘t he strapping?"
- Claire on how she should response to phone solicitors: "Please call me back later I‘m dining off the intestines on a cow."
- Claire making Ally smile: "Look at the way those cloths hang off her she‘s lovely."
- Claire (to hot dog eating Glenn): "Glenn I see you share my love of intestines."
Glenn: "Ah Please my breakfast..."
Claire: "I must confess I sometimes grab one of those quite early in the day, just a quickie."
- Claire on the courtroom: "Look at this paneling it goes with this frock I’m glad I wore it. Isn‘t it lovely?"
- Baliff: "Swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"
Claire: "Do I strike you as a person capable the whole truth?"