Here are some of the memorable quotes used in the show
- Ally: "You‘re your own firm? Don‘t you need clients for that?"
Glenn: "She’ll have her own clients... mine.
Ally: "Excuse me?"
Glenn: "Foy and Shaw sounds good doesn‘t it."
Ally: "Your leaving?"
Glenn: "To start our own firm."
Ally: "That’s... that‘s amazing."
- Corretta: "Ally has plumbing problems... in here house"
Glenn: "Jenny has plumbing problems in not her house."
- Richard: "You’re having sex with a chair?"
Glenn: "Yeah & Coretta here is a season ticket holder."
- Richard: "So the weddings still on?"
Glenn: "Yes."
Richard: "That isn‘t right what about the sanctity, it’s a violation of love itself, the very institution, everything I believe in. So you said she‘s open to affairs as well?"
Glenn: "Evidently"
Richard: "Now that‘s terrible."
Glenn: "But not with a friend of Jenny‘s"
Richard: "Oh, that‘s terrible."
- Glenn: "I don‘t think you should do that."
Elaine: "Why not?"
Glenn: "Well it‘s just a little sexual for a holiday party do you think?"
Elaine: "Oh Glenn to women you‘re a stocking stuffer."
Glenn: "Oh is that the point I’m up here as a stocking stuffer?"
Elaine: "It‘s Christmas, birth of Christ, conception, sex, seed, egg... you're the ocean, I‘m the sperm whale, dance."
- Glenn: "Do you like her really?"
Raymond: "I do."
Glenn: "Then I‘m okay with it. As long as it isn‘t just for a thrill ride."
Raymond: "It wouldn’t be that I promise. E-ticket? Hit me."
Glenn: "I‘m late for a staff meeting."
Raymond: "What about you and the thin mint?"
Glenn: "She thinks I'm a boy and she‘s not inclined to date someone she doesn‘t see a real future in."
Raymond: "That Bitch."
Glenn: "Later"
- Nelle: "What‘s wrong?"
Glenn: "Nothing."
Nelle: "Oh come on Glenn men like you don’t suddenly become pensive, is it the whitener in your toothpaste?"
Glenn: "That’s what’s wrong, women. They just see me as this GQ model pretty boy. That‘s my problem Nelle."
Nelle: "I see and what you’re really about as world peace."
- Raymond on Ally: "I don’t really know her but she seems like a real woman."
Glenn: "Isn‘t that good?"
Raymond: "It‘s just that were not real men."
Glenn: "What are we then?"
Raymond: "The guys that girls go out with for 3 months, have the time of their lives until they grow up, meet the man they marry. Ally she‘s already grown up."
Glenn: "Oooh."
- Glenn on Raymond‘s singing: "I begged him not to do this."
Elaine: "He‘s not terrible"
Jenny: "No he isn‘t, you said he couldn‘t hit a note."
Elaine: "He‘s hitting on of mine."
- Jenny: "We can win this for a lot of money"
Glenn: "In your dreams or maybe hers."
- Raymond: "Tell me something, be honest. You think Ally‘s cute?"
Glenn: "Why did you ask me that?"
Raymond: "Well it‘s just, I could be wrong here..."
Glenn: "You usually are."
Raymond: "But I think she‘s aw... nasty little edible"
- Raymond: "I‘m just going to say this and I could be wrong..."
Glenn: "You usually are."
Raymond: "But I bet behind those little outfits and the Jane Hathaway corporate thing she‘s a little sex machine."
Glenn: "Ally?"
- Ling: "Oh boy I want you to sing at my party."
Glenn: "Excuse me?"
Ling: "Somebody from the firm should sing and I don’t want it to be Elaine she’s a secretary, besides her you the only one that can hit a note. A ballad or something that captures me."
- Nelle: "Glenn, ah listen, could you sing at the bar tonight for Ling?"
Glenn: "I don‘t even know her."
Nelle: "I understand, problem is others do."
- Glenn singing to Ling: "Cause it‘s witchcraft, wicked witchcraft. It‘s witchcraft"
- Glenn: "Raymond... ready for the big depo?"
Raymond: "Ah, please I studied up more for urine tests, they let anybody sing up there, Ally & I are going to go out."
Ally: "No we‘re not."
- John : "We like to start things on time here youngster. What‘s that you’re eating?"
Glenn: "Hamburger, you want a bite?"
John: "It‘s 9:15, yeah... my stomach just growls for a Whopper."
- Claire (to hot dog eating Glenn): "Glenn I see you share my love of intestines."
Glenn: "Ah Please my breakfast..."
Claire: "I must confess I sometimes grab one of those quite early in the day, just a quickie."
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