Ally Mcbeal Character Quotes: Jackson Duper

Here are some of the memorable quotes used in the show
  1. Jackson: "Buttons?"
    Mark Newman: "Yeah that‘s my new girlfriend."
    Jackson: "Her name is buttons?"

  2. Jackson: "Reverend my specialty is smooth."
    Nelle: "Oh please! Sorry."

  3. Mrs. Parks: "Oh shut up pretty boy. Nobody likes a pretty boy."
    Jackson: "No one here is attempting to be pretty."
    Mrs. Parks: "What‘s that an ugly joke? She‘s making fat jokes, your make ugly jokes. Is he calling you ugly?"
    Lisa: "He meant her."
    Buttons: "That‘s funny you tank."

  4. Jackson: "Are you a real lawyer?"
    Mrs. Parks: "What‘s that a dumb joke. Fat, dumb & ugly now."
    Jackson: "That‘s not a joke it‘s a serious question. Are you a lawyer?"
    Mrs. Parks: "No, I‘m her emotional representative."
    Jackson: "Her emotional representative?"
    Mrs. Parks: "Look you can’t stop her from singing the songs pretty boy she‘s the musical director."

  5. Jackson: "So is Lisa going to stop singing or?"
    Nelle: "Says she‘ll try. If not you could always go back to the smooth approach."

  6. Elaine: "You know what you nickname is around here, ‘the man in the mirror‘"
    Jackson: "Who calls me that?"
    Elaine: "It doesn‘t matter, the point is your as vain as I am and since we both love to hog the limelight, who better to steal it from then Ally on her birthday. Come on I want to be hot."
    Jackson: "If I sing that number with you it ain’t go to be an Elvis Presley thing cause I don’t do Elvis. I’m smooth Elaine you got that. If we do a number together oh it‘s go to be smooth."
    Elaine: "Fine. Smooth and hot."

  7. Jackson: "Hey Mark, Ling."
    Ling: "Oh drop dead. If you have anything to say have your assistant call mine. I don‘t even see you in slow motion anymore you lying little weasel."

  8. Jackson: "Last week I told you that I was in love with you."
    Ling: "Yippee, anybody can share a stupid feeling there’s an unlimited supply. You only get 5 lunches a week. And don‘t stare at me like I‘m crazy, you the one turning all this down."

  9. Jackson: "Is there a problem Larry?"
    Larry: "No I just like to pull torso flexes at night Jackson."
    Jackson: "Oh do you?"
    Larry: "Yes I do."
    Jackson: "Are you making fun of me Larry?"
    Larry: "No, the truth is I’ve been trying to work on my posture and I’m admiring yours. If I could just learn to walk like that."

  10. Jackson to Ling: "I‘m in love with you. I broke off my engagement because of you. I came to work here in part because of you and I tried to respect the fact that you don‘t want to go there but after hearing our client today and how one person and how another might not happen. It hit me and I can‘t, it‘s you and I can’t not be out with that."

  11. Jackson: "What the hell was that?"
    Ally: "I was just trying to make sure everything was on the up and up. Isn‘t that the way you like to do things... Jackson."

  12. Larry: "Basically this pre-nup says she gets nothing if the marriage ends within five years."
    Jackson: "Look if she loves him as much as she claims to Larry, then it’s really a non-issue."
    Larry: "Yeah, unless he turns out not to love her Jackson. Which is..."
    Jackson: "Look, I‘m just trying to protect a nice man, should anything...."
    Larry: "You’re asking Julie to give up what‘s legally hers in consideration for what? I mean, I miss how she benefits from this lovely document."
    Jackson: "Larry, love that name. Man to man, we both know what the law provides. We also know how young beautiful woman can capitalize on it especially at the expense of fat, rich, bald guys."
    Larry: "I won‘t let her sign it."
    Jackson: "Does she have a problem with it Larry?"
    Larry: "She will when her lawyer tells her to."
    Jackson: "Larry."
    Larry: "Jackson."
    Jackson: "Larry, would you like me to tell him that she only wants him for his money?"
    Larry: "Ah, tell him you presume that since he‘s fat, rich and bald."
    Jackson: "I like your style."
    Larry: "I hate yours"

  13. Jackson: "Ally. Larry."
    Larry: "Jackson."
    Ally: "Okay what am I missing?"
    Larry: "Jackson‘s upset I didn‘t commit malpractice and advise Julie to sign a ludicrous pre-nup"
    Jackson: "What‘s ludicrous is that your client even cares. Marriage should be about love. Now a pre-nup that‘s about money."
    Larry: "Who‘s idea was the pre-nup Jackson?"
    Ally: "Okay, okay. You know Jackson you were a little dicey just trying to slide into the"
    Jackson: "Excuse me, dicey?"
    Ally: "Well representing a...."
    Jackson: "You know what? I‘m not even in the mood for your issues"
    Larry: "Alright."
    Ally: "My issues what are my issues?"
    Jackson: "Look lady."
    Renee: "Ally."
    Larry: "Jackson."
    Jackson: "First you’re kissing me."
    Ally: "I thought you were him."
    Jackson: "Then you climb into bed."
    Ally: "I thought you were her."
    Jackson: "And your hands were all up on my privates."
    Ally: "Well because I thought it was the remote control."
    Larry: "Hold on."
    Jackson: "Felt like the remote did it?"
    Ally: "Yes it did feel like the remote control, hard, plastic."
    Renee: "Excuse me?"
    Jackson: "Oh please don‘t flatter yourself."
    Larry: "Excuse me too. You hand your hand on his"
    Jackson: "Remote."
    Renee: "Hard plastic?"
    Jackson: "Men have it when they’re sleeping"
    Larry: "Remotes?"
    Jackson: "No erections and it had nothing to do with her thin little hand."
    Ally: "Oh, well isn‘t that the remote calling the wrist skinny."
    Jackson: "What?"

  14. Jackson to Ally after she kissed him: "You‘ve got issues."

  15. Jackson: "Is she any good?"
    Richard: "Are you kidding? Pretty, smart... you like big knockers?"
    Jackson: "I meant as a lawyer."

  16. Jackson: "Isn‘t it written in some Minister‘s handbook, thou shall not lick the bride‘s left nipple?"

  17. Ling: "Did you come to work here because of me?" Jackson: "I don’t remember."