Here are some of the memorable quotes used in the show
- Richard: "I‘m taking Liza for my first wife."
Liza: "And I‘m taking Richard for my very first husband."
- Ally: "You two are getting married?"
Liza: "You know what they say Ally, after forty you have a better chance of being struck by lightning."
- Richard on his quick marriage: "What is love if not and risk and should it fail for some reason... bygones."
Liza: "Divorcirooni."
- John: "What are your reasons for getting married?"
Liza: "Oh well, first if a woman goes too long without marrying men start to think there is something wrong with her, divorcées fair better and second Fishy‘s so fun and exciting."
- Liza: "Listen about the wedding, I don’t like walking down the aisle it feels to formal, that’s how we walk in the courtroom. I want to be suspended from the ceiling."
Richard: "Ah... Ah...."
Liza: "If you love me you‘ll say yes."
- Liza‘s wedding I do: "Duh, that why I‘m hear, hello."
- Liza: "Richard, we‘re sort of an item now. That means I have to train you."
- Liza: "Excuse me... big woman, I would go around you but my little legs get tired so could you please move?"
Claire: "I do not respond to big woman, I go by Claire Otoms."
- Liza: "Richard you don‘t want to be in love with me, I‘m not... what’s that word... nice."
- Richard: "You've been acting strange ever since I said I was falling for you."
Liza: "Please, do you know how many men fall in love with me?"
Richard: "How many call you nice?"
Liza: "Stop it."
Richard: "You’re a nice kindhearted person. Why is that so hard to hear?"
Liza: "Cause I don‘t like it when people see both sides of me, it makes me feel I‘m naked."
Richard: "Ahhh!"
Liza: "Don‘t look at me like that either."
- Liza: "What is it that you like about me Richard? I‘m not even as sexual as I pretend to be."
Richard: "I like that you‘re cold, bitchy, smart, extremely sexy, beautiful and soft."
Liza: "So will you let me train you if I want to?"
Richard: "Like a puppy."
- Liza to Richard: "If I let you lick me one little time... do you promise to behave?"
- Liza: "Given a choice of pleasing his secretary or his wife, who should a husband choose?"
- Richard: "I don‘t have a personal life."
Liza: "Awe, poor Richard. You wanna watch me take a shower?"
- Elaine: "Maddie called, she said she‘d she you when you get home."
Ally: "Anything else?"
Elaine: "3 messages from Victor saying he loves your ass"
Liza: "So do I."
Elaine: "Are we sure she‘s hetro?"
Ally: "I don‘t know but she‘s cute."
Elaine: "Yes, she is."
- Liza: "I’m off to workout."
Raymond: "In a stall?"
Liza: "You’ve never done it in a stall before?"
Raymond: "It‘s a little cramped isn‘t it?"
Liza: "John gave me his hole."
Corretta: "Richard you might want to blot that drool."
Richard: "What‘s the sexiest thing on a woman."
Raymond: "Me."
Richard: "No, not you... not me... not any piece of clothing. Sweat."
Raymond: "Sweat?"
- Liza: "If I wanted to sleep with you I‘d just say, hey Richard lets go somewhere and do it."
- Liza: "My clients being charged with bigamy, she has two husbands."
Corretta: "What‘s your defense?"
Liza: "That she‘s entitled."
- Liza while squeezing John‘s cheeks: "Isn‘t he like a cute little stuffy and such a good lawyer, yes you are, yes you are."
Nicole: "I could be wrong but I think he enjoys being pinched like that."
Liza: "I always forget to release, he‘s just so cute."
- John: "The law is the law Liza & she broke it"
Liza: "John in some states oral sex is against the law, you don’t see people getting thrown in jail for that."
John: "Bigamy is a little more serious than that."
Liza: "You don‘t take oral sex seriously?"
- John: "Conjugal relations with two different men..."
Liza: "Sounds awful."
- Nicole: "What happen?"
John: "No jail time, that‘s great, that is fantastic."
Liza: "The judge must have a mistress."
- Liza: "Sorry I‘m late, pedestrians, I brake for them, New Year‘s Ressy. How cute, you (John) look like a little stuffy. Makes me want to do this (squeeze John‘s cheeks), I bet you get that all the time. Wow you‘re (Nelle) gorgeous. "
- Liza on John: "So cute. I go for older men, though not this old."
- Liza to Nelle: "Do you talk or to I have to pull a string."
- John: "I would ask that council rise to make her objections."
Liza: "You‘re making short jokes, well if that isn‘t the pot."
- Nelle: "Hey you, hold on a second."
Liza: "Oh, hi is it Nil."
- Liza to Nelle: "Tell the stuffy (John) 50 more just for being cute. When is he ever going to hear that again."
- Liza: "Where‘s the biscuit? Now that sounds like a fun game can I play?"
- John: "You tried to drown me."
Liza: "I‘m sorry did you swallow water, I could hover it right out."
John: "Never mind, talk chicken or I‘m gone."
Liza: "Talk chicken?"
John: "I meant to say turkey."
- Liza: "Some people call me little I like to refer to myself as puny. There‘s something erotic about that word John. Have you ever been called puny?"
John: "Not with good results no."
- John: "Look Liza we‘re lawyers it‘s our job to make people hate each other you can‘t hold us liable for ah...."
Liza: "Look Fishy, may I call you Fishy? I realize that this little law firm of yours has something against love, no of you are in relationships, one of your senior partners is getting all wigged out because she can‘t get past first base with a plumber and the rest of you can‘t some much as get a date. I have no problem with that, you’re each entitled to your lonely lives but when you start reek havoc between to innocent people who do believe in love, two people like Claire & Jerome, I‘m sorry I get a little overly sentimental, I‘m a sap for romance. Don‘t talk to her and don‘t talk to him. Keep you mouth shut and I‘ll drop the lawsuit."
Coretta: "We have to be able to advise her."
Liza: "You talk you lose."
Coretta: "She‘s vicious."
- Liza to John & Nelle: "I‘m sure you use to be good, today you try cases like a Mariachi player and you love your hair."
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