Ally Mcbeal Character Quotes: Liza "Lolita" Bump

Here are some of the memorable quotes used in the show
  1. Richard: "Im taking Liza for my first wife."
    Liza: "And Im taking Richard for my very first husband."

  2. Ally: "You two are getting married?"
    Liza: "You know what they say Ally, after forty you have a better chance of being struck by lightning."

  3. Richard on his quick marriage: "What is love if not and risk and should it fail for some reason... bygones." Liza: "Divorcirooni."

  4. John: "What are your reasons for getting married?"
    Liza: "Oh well, first if a woman goes too long without marrying men start to think there is something wrong with her, divorces fair better and second Fishys so fun and exciting."

  5. Liza: "Listen about the wedding, I dont like walking down the aisle it feels to formal, thats how we walk in the courtroom. I want to be suspended from the ceiling."
    Richard: "Ah... Ah...."
    Liza: "If you love me youll say yes."

  6. Lizas wedding I do: "Duh, that why Im hear, hello."

  7. Liza: "Richard, were sort of an item now. That means I have to train you."

  8. Liza: "Excuse me... big woman, I would go around you but my little legs get tired so could you please move?"
    Claire: "I do not respond to big woman, I go by Claire Otoms."

  9. Liza: "Richard you dont want to be in love with me, Im not... whats that word... nice."

  10. Richard: "You've been acting strange ever since I said I was falling for you."
    Liza: "Please, do you know how many men fall in love with me?"
    Richard: "How many call you nice?"
    Liza: "Stop it."
    Richard: "Youre a nice kindhearted person. Why is that so hard to hear?"
    Liza: "Cause I dont like it when people see both sides of me, it makes me feel Im naked."
    Richard: "Ahhh!"
    Liza: "Dont look at me like that either."

  11. Liza: "What is it that you like about me Richard? Im not even as sexual as I pretend to be."
    Richard: "I like that youre cold, bitchy, smart, extremely sexy, beautiful and soft."
    Liza: "So will you let me train you if I want to?"
    Richard: "Like a puppy."

  12. Liza to Richard: "If I let you lick me one little time... do you promise to behave?"

  13. Liza: "Given a choice of pleasing his secretary or his wife, who should a husband choose?"

  14. Richard: "I dont have a personal life."
    Liza: "Awe, poor Richard. You wanna watch me take a shower?"

  15. Elaine: "Maddie called, she said shed she you when you get home."
    Ally: "Anything else?"
    Elaine: "3 messages from Victor saying he loves your ass"
    Liza: "So do I."
    Elaine: "Are we sure shes hetro?"
    Ally: "I dont know but shes cute."
    Elaine: "Yes, she is."

  16. Liza: "Im off to workout."
    Raymond: "In a stall?"
    Liza: "Youve never done it in a stall before?"
    Raymond: "Its a little cramped isnt it?"
    Liza: "John gave me his hole."
    Corretta: "Richard you might want to blot that drool."
    Richard: "Whats the sexiest thing on a woman."
    Raymond: "Me."
    Richard: "No, not you... not me... not any piece of clothing. Sweat."
    Raymond: "Sweat?"

  17. Liza: "If I wanted to sleep with you Id just say, hey Richard lets go somewhere and do it."

  18. Liza: "My clients being charged with bigamy, she has two husbands."
    Corretta: "Whats your defense?"
    Liza: "That shes entitled."

  19. Liza while squeezing Johns cheeks: "Isnt he like a cute little stuffy and such a good lawyer, yes you are, yes you are."
    Nicole: "I could be wrong but I think he enjoys being pinched like that."
    Liza: "I always forget to release, hes just so cute."

  20. John: "The law is the law Liza & she broke it"
    Liza: "John in some states oral sex is against the law, you dont see people getting thrown in jail for that."
    John: "Bigamy is a little more serious than that."
    Liza: "You dont take oral sex seriously?"

  21. John: "Conjugal relations with two different men..."
    Liza: "Sounds awful."

  22. Nicole: "What happen?"
    John: "No jail time, thats great, that is fantastic."
    Liza: "The judge must have a mistress."

  23. Liza: "Sorry Im late, pedestrians, I brake for them, New Years Ressy. How cute, you (John) look like a little stuffy. Makes me want to do this (squeeze Johns cheeks), I bet you get that all the time. Wow youre (Nelle) gorgeous. "

  24. Liza on John: "So cute. I go for older men, though not this old."

  25. Liza to Nelle: "Do you talk or to I have to pull a string."

  26. John: "I would ask that council rise to make her objections."
    Liza: "Youre making short jokes, well if that isnt the pot."

  27. Nelle: "Hey you, hold on a second."
    Liza: "Oh, hi is it Nil."

  28. Liza to Nelle: "Tell the stuffy (John) 50 more just for being cute. When is he ever going to hear that again."

  29. Liza: "Wheres the biscuit? Now that sounds like a fun game can I play?"

  30. John: "You tried to drown me."
    Liza: "Im sorry did you swallow water, I could hover it right out."
    John: "Never mind, talk chicken or Im gone."
    Liza: "Talk chicken?"
    John: "I meant to say turkey."

  31. Liza: "Some people call me little I like to refer to myself as puny. Theres something erotic about that word John. Have you ever been called puny?"
    John: "Not with good results no."

  32. John: "Look Liza were lawyers its our job to make people hate each other you cant hold us liable for ah...."
    Liza: "Look Fishy, may I call you Fishy? I realize that this little law firm of yours has something against love, no of you are in relationships, one of your senior partners is getting all wigged out because she cant get past first base with a plumber and the rest of you cant some much as get a date. I have no problem with that, youre each entitled to your lonely lives but when you start reek havoc between to innocent people who do believe in love, two people like Claire & Jerome, Im sorry I get a little overly sentimental, Im a sap for romance. Dont talk to her and dont talk to him. Keep you mouth shut and Ill drop the lawsuit."
    Coretta: "We have to be able to advise her."
    Liza: "You talk you lose."
    Coretta: "Shes vicious."

  33. Liza to John & Nelle: "Im sure you use to be good, today you try cases like a Mariachi player and you love your hair."