Here are some of the memorable quotes used in the show
- Ally: "Renee... Renee"
Renee: "It‘s like you said we‘ll be forced to make an effort now."
Ally: "That‘s right."
- Ally: "I knew the first time that I met him Renee that that man (Larry) would either make or break me."
Renee: "No man is capable of doing either with you Ally and you know that."
Ally: "Uh your right. You’re right. You’re right."
Renee: "Whenever you get like this we always have ice cream but under the circumstances..."
Ally: "Under the circumstances I’m gonna go to work"
- Ally: "He seemed erratic Renee, he didn‘t even seem like himself."
Renee: "Well if he‘s emotionally..."
Ally: "He‘s gone."
Renee: "He‘s not gone."
Ally: "He leaves notes did you know that?"
Renee: "Sorry?"
Ally: "He‘s can’t deal with goodbyes so he leaves notes. I‘m gonna get a note."
- Renee teasing Ally: "You don‘t look a day over 40."
- Renee to Ally: "It’s not like your a pathetic lonely single desperate woman on the verge of spinster hood like you were last year. You got a man. Which is all you ever wanted out of life. To latch on to a husband and where nice outfits, this is your dream. It’s coming true so be happy."
- Renee: "You were diving across the floor to?"
Ally: "Oh, oh that. Well that stupid dancing baby is back I was just trying to kill it. I‘m fine Renee."
- Ally: "Doesn‘t that make you jealous (Jackson & Elaine‘s duet)?"
Ling: "With her, please."
Renee: "What about me? We both slept with the guy, if I can deal so can you."
Ling: "You two slept together?"
Renee: "We dosed off one night watching the news."
- Renee on Jackson: "That man runs about as deep as an ink well. Which means I suppose Ling might drowned."
- Larry: "Ally you’re against smiling on principal, what‘s going on? What‘s going on?"
Renee: "Don‘t look at me."
Larry: "Okay fine then back to you, what‘s going on?"
Ally: "Well um, well John, he asked me for a few tips on how to oppose you in court. So I suggested that he break your rhythm. You know since you’re a little useless without it. Cute, but useless."
- Jackson: "Ally. Larry."
Larry: "Jackson."
Ally: "Okay what am I missing?"
Larry: "Jackson‘s upset I didn‘t commit malpractice and advise Julie to sign a ludicrous pre-nup"
Jackson: "What‘s ludicrous is that your client even cares. Marriage should be about love. Now a pre-nup that‘s about money."
Larry: "Who‘s idea was the pre-nup Jackson?"
Ally: "Okay, okay. You know Jackson you were a little dicey just trying to slide into the"
Jackson: "Excuse me, dicey?"
Ally: "Well representing a...."
Jackson: "You know what? I‘m not even in the mood for your issues"
Larry: "Alright."
Ally: "My issues what are my issues?"
Jackson: "Look lady."
Renee: "Ally."
Larry: "Jackson."
Jackson: "First you’re kissing me."
Ally: "I thought you were him."
Jackson: "Then you climb into bed."
Ally: "I thought you were her."
Jackson: "And your hands were all up on my privates."
Ally: "Well because I thought it was the remote control."
Larry: "Hold on."
Jackson: "Felt like the remote did it?"
Ally: "Yes it did feel like the remote control, hard, plastic."
Renee: "Excuse me?"
Jackson: "Oh please don‘t flatter yourself."
Larry: "Excuse me too. You hand your hand on his"
Jackson: "Remote."
Renee: "Hard plastic?"
Jackson: "Men have it when they’re sleeping"
Larry: "Remotes?"
Jackson: "No erections and it had nothing to do with her thin little hand."
Ally: "Oh, well isn‘t that the remote calling the wrist skinny."
Jackson: "What?"
- Renee after sleeping with Jackson: "If he doesn‘t call after where he‘s just been he‘s a total pig."
- Ally: "Ah...he...I-I-I was hallucinating."
Renee: "What, you saw Larry?"
Ally: "No"
Renee: "Al Green?"
Ally: "No"
Renee: "Gloria Gaynor?"
Ally: "No"
Renee: "Then who did you see?"
Ally: "Barry Manilow... call 9-1-1"
- Renee: "I’d rather be with Jackson Duper."
- Nelle: "If this keeps up you and I are going to have to be friends."
Renee: "It'll never come to that."
Nelle: "Promise?"
Renee: "You don't fool me. If I offered you some of my jelly roll you'd step right up."
Nelle: "How would you know? You've never offered."
- Renee's advice to Ally on Larry's ex-girlfriend: "Put that bitch back on a plane to Detroit"
- Renee after advising Ally: "I know men, why do you think I'm not with one?"
- Mark on Richard & Ling's lip synching: "Is he kidding?"
- Elaine: "I'm not sure."
- Ally: "They've got to be kidding."
- Renee: "I don't know."
- Ally: "It's Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy."
Renee: "Oh, please. What's everybody's favorite Christmas movie? 'It's A Wonderful Life'. Jimmy Stewart. He tries to commit suicide. He jumps off a bridge."
- "Ally for the first few dates guys use their hands after the date"- Renee
- "Ally on the first date your supposed to sleep together"- Renee to Ally contemplating her first kiss with Larry
- "Girls often do get nervous Ally, but your thirty. Why are you watching a video"- Renee on Ally's how to kiss video
- "Aren't you afraid of giving him a heart attack?"-Renee on Ally's older man
- Renee: "So, you've had affairs with three different assistants? That's a pretty high rate, don't you think?"
Myra: "Not really, considering since I was about 16 almost every man I've ever met has wanted to sleep with me."
Renee: "And you're proud of that?"
Myra: "I'm proud that I've never used it as currency, yes but when I meet a man who I want to be with I have problem asking, just like I've been asked thousands of times. And just like I've been free to say no all those times so are they."
John: "Your honor, that was an excellent response. I'd like my client to repeat it in case any of the jurors missed it."
- Ally: "You think that I am a desperate person don't you?"
Ling: "Ally, you're all desperate. Five gorgeous women, Halloween night, parties all over town, you're dateless. That's pathetic. You're lonely, desperate women. Why can't you just admit it?
Renee: "You're here. What are you?
Ling: "I have my Richard."
- "Maybe Brian is not the guy but stay away from therapist."- Renee to Ally
- "He's so dull I've lost interest in the question."- Renee on Brian
- "With these kinds of decisions there's only one person who can know the answer. We both know who that is. A therapist."- Renee advising Ally on Brian
- "You won't even go to bed with a man unless you story board it first," Renee to Ally
- "This is your typical mating dance where you always end up mateless," Renee on Ally's dating
- "This is the problem of playing games, somebody has to lose," Renee on all the dating rules
- "Emotionally your an idiot." -Renee to Ally
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