Here are some of the memorable quotes used in the show
- Ally: "I’m sorry what did you say?"
Victor: "Nothing."
Ally: "What you think I spend a lot of time on my hair. What more than say you spend on yours?"
Victor: "Me? I don‘t even comb my hair."
Ally: "Oh, who do you think you‘re kidding Victor? Every single strand probably has it‘s own stylist."
Victor: "Now you have a problem with my hair."
Ally: "No I love your hair, it just goes to show if you put the time in it pays off."
- Victor: "I happen to think that cellulite gives an ass character."
Ally: "My ass has plenty of character, what it doesn‘t have is this."
- Victor: "Ally I‘ve seen you‘re butt, it‘s a world class butt okay."
Ally: "Yes it is."
- Sheila: "You client has a problem counsel. Ask him about his little fetish."
Victor: "Sheila!"
Ally: "Victor! What fetish?"
Sheila: "Let‘s just say your client is a butt man."
Victor: "Sheila"
Ally: "Victor."
Victor: "This isn‘t relevant."
Ally: "I‘m the one asking the questions here. A butt man?"
Sheila: "He paints them, he studies them and during sex he likes to nibble them."
Victor: "Sheila."
- Sheila: "Tell her how you like cellulite."
Victor: "Sheila"
Sheila: "He thinks cellulite gives a butt character."
- Victor: "Wanna leave?"
Ally: "Where would we go?"
Victor: "Motel 6, we could leave the lights on."
- Victor: "The big thing here is to maintain dialogue which I see you’re doing. Ally you need to talk to her not at her."
Ally: "Yes Victor. Thanks Victor. I‘ll be going up stairs now Victor."
- Ally: "Are you interested in you and me as a..."
Victor: "No."
Ally: "So why the hurt?"
- Victor: "You‘re an elitist Ally, please don‘t raise your daughter as one."
- Ally: "Go to hell."
Victor: "Been there, your place."
- Victor to Ally: "Just for you information I have a college degree, I might not use the big words like turd, but I‘m in your league."
- Victor: "To it (kick in the butt) again and I’ll sue you."
Ally: "For what a concussion?"
- Victor to Ally: "You don‘t need Glenn you need John Cage."
- Ally: "Ummm Victor, maybe you want to pick up a bottle of red wine and all those kids once they finally settle down maybe we can you know..."
Victor: "That sounds great. Yeah but what if something happens, you‘ll have to react, go to the E.R. god forbid, I think their parents would feel better knowing we‘re not drinking."
Ally: "Yeah good point, how about a joint? I was kidding, I was kidding, I was totally kidding."
- Maddie: "French kissing, what is it?"
Ally: "Sorry?"
Maddie: "They‘re talking about French kissing, what is it?"
Ally: "I don‘t want them talking about French kissing."
Victor: "Ally..."
Maddie: "Come on hurry up tell me!"
Ally: "You touch tongues."
Maddie: "Really you stick out your tongues?"
Ally: "No you don‘t stick them you, you just..."
Maddie: "Show me."
Ally: "I am not going to show you."
Maddie: "Give me a demonstration with Victor."
Ally: "I will not."
Maddie: "Come on there could be worse things."
Ally: "Your tongues touch that‘s your explanation now go back to bed. I should not have given her a demonstration."
Victor: "No you should not have given her a demonstration."
Ally: "I‘ll go pour the wine."
- Victor: "I think you pushed too hard."
Ally: "I pushed too hard? Oh, so I shouldn’t worry about boys or security or killer bees, I should just relax and go with it and if my child dies, them‘s the brakes."
Victor: "You plan to be a total nightmare don‘t you?"
Ally: "Umm, you have no idea."
- Victor after Ally smelt his butt: "Can I smell your‘s now?"
- Victor: "Ally I‘m sure you have a very high pressure job but me & friends here, we’re not just sexual objects put on the streets for you corporate woman to drool over, we‘re human beings. In fact that’s Ritchie, Eric, Onso & Big Mike. Say Hello."
- Nelle: "A you a beginning, middle or ending kind of a guy?"
Victor: "What?"
Nelle: "That up there, that‘s just the beginning."
- Ally: "The house works right?"
Victor: "Depends on the purpose I guess."
Ally: "Oh now don‘t you start okay, please."
Victor: "The house works. Your plumbing's old"
Ally: "I beg your pardon?"
Victor: "It‘s gonna need some work."
- Victor: "I bought a house a couple years ago, torn down every part, rebuilt it... then I sold it"
Ally: "Why?"
Victor: "I don‘t know I guess it didn‘t really represent who I am?"
Ally: "Which is?"
Victor: "A work in progress"
- Victor on the house & his chemistry with Ally: "The electricity is good."
- Victor: "Good news, bad news."
Ally: "Alright I‘ll take the bad news first."
Victor: "Your plumbing's shot."
Ally: "The good news"
Victor: "I‘m not speaking as your gynecologist... plumbing humor."
- Ally: "I have to pay you? Well are you married... bonded?"
Victor: "I‘m bonded."
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