Ally Mcbeal Character Quotes: Victor

Here are some of the memorable quotes used in the show
  1. Ally: "I’m sorry what did you say?"
    Victor: "Nothing."
    Ally: "What you think I spend a lot of time on my hair. What more than say you spend on yours?"
    Victor: "Me? I don‘t even comb my hair."
    Ally: "Oh, who do you think you‘re kidding Victor? Every single strand probably has it‘s own stylist."
    Victor: "Now you have a problem with my hair."
    Ally: "No I love your hair, it just goes to show if you put the time in it pays off."

  2. Victor: "I happen to think that cellulite gives an ass character."
    Ally: "My ass has plenty of character, what it doesn‘t have is this."

  3. Victor: "Ally I‘ve seen you‘re butt, it‘s a world class butt okay."
    Ally: "Yes it is."

  4. Sheila: "You client has a problem counsel. Ask him about his little fetish."
    Victor: "Sheila!"
    Ally: "Victor! What fetish?"
    Sheila: "Let‘s just say your client is a butt man."
    Victor: "Sheila"
    Ally: "Victor."
    Victor: "This isn‘t relevant."
    Ally: "I‘m the one asking the questions here. A butt man?"
    Sheila: "He paints them, he studies them and during sex he likes to nibble them."
    Victor: "Sheila."

  5. Sheila: "Tell her how you like cellulite."
    Victor: "Sheila"
    Sheila: "He thinks cellulite gives a butt character."

  6. Victor: "Wanna leave?"
    Ally: "Where would we go?"
    Victor: "Motel 6, we could leave the lights on."

  7. Victor: "The big thing here is to maintain dialogue which I see you’re doing. Ally you need to talk to her not at her."
    Ally: "Yes Victor. Thanks Victor. I‘ll be going up stairs now Victor."

  8. Ally: "Are you interested in you and me as a..."
    Victor: "No."
    Ally: "So why the hurt?"

  9. Victor: "You‘re an elitist Ally, please don‘t raise your daughter as one."

  10. Ally: "Go to hell."
    Victor: "Been there, your place."

  11. Victor to Ally: "Just for you information I have a college degree, I might not use the big words like turd, but I‘m in your league."

  12. Victor: "To it (kick in the butt) again and I’ll sue you."
    Ally: "For what a concussion?"

  13. Victor to Ally: "You don‘t need Glenn you need John Cage."

  14. Ally: "Ummm Victor, maybe you want to pick up a bottle of red wine and all those kids once they finally settle down maybe we can you know..."
    Victor: "That sounds great. Yeah but what if something happens, you‘ll have to react, go to the E.R. god forbid, I think their parents would feel better knowing we‘re not drinking."
    Ally: "Yeah good point, how about a joint? I was kidding, I was kidding, I was totally kidding."

  15. Maddie: "French kissing, what is it?"
    Ally: "Sorry?"
    Maddie: "They‘re talking about French kissing, what is it?"
    Ally: "I don‘t want them talking about French kissing."
    Victor: "Ally..."
    Maddie: "Come on hurry up tell me!"
    Ally: "You touch tongues."
    Maddie: "Really you stick out your tongues?"
    Ally: "No you don‘t stick them you, you just..."
    Maddie: "Show me."
    Ally: "I am not going to show you."
    Maddie: "Give me a demonstration with Victor."
    Ally: "I will not."
    Maddie: "Come on there could be worse things."
    Ally: "Your tongues touch that‘s your explanation now go back to bed. I should not have given her a demonstration."
    Victor: "No you should not have given her a demonstration."
    Ally: "I‘ll go pour the wine."

  16. Victor: "I think you pushed too hard."
    Ally: "I pushed too hard? Oh, so I shouldn’t worry about boys or security or killer bees, I should just relax and go with it and if my child dies, them‘s the brakes."
    Victor: "You plan to be a total nightmare don‘t you?"
    Ally: "Umm, you have no idea."

  17. Victor after Ally smelt his butt: "Can I smell your‘s now?"

  18. Victor: "Ally I‘m sure you have a very high pressure job but me & friends here, we’re not just sexual objects put on the streets for you corporate woman to drool over, we‘re human beings. In fact that’s Ritchie, Eric, Onso & Big Mike. Say Hello."

  19. Nelle: "A you a beginning, middle or ending kind of a guy?"
    Victor: "What?"
    Nelle: "That up there, that‘s just the beginning."

  20. Ally: "The house works right?"
    Victor: "Depends on the purpose I guess."
    Ally: "Oh now don‘t you start okay, please."
    Victor: "The house works. Your plumbing's old"
    Ally: "I beg your pardon?"
    Victor: "It‘s gonna need some work."

  21. Victor: "I bought a house a couple years ago, torn down every part, rebuilt it... then I sold it"
    Ally: "Why?"
    Victor: "I don‘t know I guess it didn‘t really represent who I am?"
    Ally: "Which is?"
    Victor: "A work in progress"

  22. Victor on the house & his chemistry with Ally: "The electricity is good."

  23. Victor: "Good news, bad news."
    Ally: "Alright I‘ll take the bad news first."
    Victor: "Your plumbing's shot."
    Ally: "The good news"
    Victor: "I‘m not speaking as your gynecologist... plumbing humor."

  24. Ally: "I have to pay you? Well are you married... bonded?"
    Victor: "I‘m bonded."