Ally McBeal: The Musical, Almost

Season: 3

Episode: 21

Production Code: AM-321

First Air Date: May 22, 2000

Writer: David E. Kelley

Director: Bill D’Elia

# of Times Richard said Bygones: 0

Special Guest Star:

James LeGros as Mark "The Closer" Albert

Guest Stars:

James Naughton as George McBeal
Jill Clayburgh as Mrs. McBeal
Alicia Witt as Hope Mercey
Tim Dutton as Brian Selig
Amy Castle as young Ally
Micheal Rothhaar as Stanley Kupeheek
Joshua Finkelas as a waiter
Dakota Fanning as 5 year old Ally
Randy Newman as himself
Sy Smith as a singer
Vatrena King as a singer
Renee Goldsberry as a singer

Synopsis:

In case you missed the dewy-eyed bulletin, Ally is allegedly in love and the rest of us must suffer for it.

Root canal always moves down a notch on the wince scale each time a non-professional sings. While Vonda’s delivery of the theme is often described as possessing all the flavor of bathwater, she has Miracle Bra lift compared to her universally flat cast-mates.

David E. Kelley enlisted the Susan Lucci of the Oscars, Randy Newman, to pen songs that hopefully weren’t meant to sound any deeper than Talent Night at Junior High.

Did Vonda get shafted? After all, she is a songwriter in her own right and should probably have a pretty good understanding of the characters.

Buried deep within the Stepford bombastic cheer lay some kind of stories though they were repeatedly cut short for the likes of Elaine’s Backstreet Boy chair dancing and Hope removing all the fun campiness from Madonna’s Hanky Panky.

Wasn’t an entire episode of the "My Best Friend’s Wedding" Say A Little Prayer scene, entirely too much?

So, Ally’s practically married to Billy from childhood and that doesn’t spark her father’s rather disturbing jealousy but three dates with some unknown factory does. Ally’s vacant stares and her mom’s green-eyed envy were equally disconcerting. Of course, maybe since Brian opts for Larry King suspenders and is sort of fatherly towards this Duran Duran era girl, her Pop is just feeling displaced.

Do you really believe in Ally’s instantaneous love connection or is it another exploration vehicle for her neurosis?

Speaking of neurosis, John and Nelle, the original bitter and sour, were playing "can you top this" with their woes from sub-zero to fat. Nelle may have seemed vulnerable but John had better watch his back.

Is it a mistake allowing Nelle back into the firm?

And, in the no surprise department, Courtney Thorne-Smith’s final episode came to a close with nary a whisper as to where or when Georgia is going.

Wouldn’t you have given Georgia a last hurrah catfight with Ally?

Much like the season itself the closer was a non-event, it’s hard to pack a punch without George Clooney, oh right, that’s that other show that knows how to do heated chemistry.