What I'll Never Do for Love

Season: 5
Episode: 19
Production Code: AM-519
First Air Date: May 6, 2002
Writer: David E. Kelley
Director: Billy Dickson
Songs Elaine Sang: Elaine sang songs from "A Chorus Line"

# of Times Richard said Bygones: 2

# of Times Charlie said Bygones: 4

Guest Stars:
Hayden Panettiere as Maddie
Christina Ricci as Liza "Lolita" Bump
Dame Edna Everage as Claire Otoms
Charles Kimbrough as Charlie Fish
Bobby Cannavale as Wilson Jay
Albert Hall as Judge Seymore Walsh
Nestor Carbonell as Josephson
Janet Carroll as Ellen
Natalija Nogulich as Melissa Bloom
Missy Yager as Molly
Michael Hyatt as ?
Bryan Anthony as Young Man
Mark Mueller as Foreman

Synopsis:

Once again, the McBeal minus the Ally.

Ally was a stay at home domestic gal on account of Maddie got the sniffles and Victor got the heave-ho last week but she did stick around long enough to give Elaine permission to pursue her dreams. The dream is auditioning for a part in the touring company of A Chorus Line despite Nelle’s scoffing. So nice, for once Elaine’s life wasn’t played for laughs (not counting Claire’s number) and the cherry was that a director type, Josephson was truly taken with her, not an everyday occurrence for Elaine.

Appearances have it as a one-night thing but would you like to see Elaine and this new guy ride off into the sunset on the finale?

So the romance ended abruptly and she didn’t get a callback since Christmas Parties don’t exactly fill out a résumé, but never fear as of all the blonde vixens in the world, Nelle, decided to save the day and begged for another audition. Elaine finally got her Ricky Martin at the Grammy's moment, singing and shimmying her heart out to rounds of stuffy theatre crowd applause. However so far she has neither the man nor the gig.

On to other minus Ally stories. We finally meet Richard’s family, surprise, surprise the patriarch is not Ward Cleaver, it’s a warped Jim from Murphy Brown. Warped in the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree way, what with his bygones, a wattle fetish, and his wandering eye. Dear old dad started to fall for his secretary so he fired her before things could get messy forcing Richard and Liza to take the case and his wife to file for divorce. Mama Fish is kind of a less leggy Jerry Hall in that she had been fine with the womanizing kinda cause she thought she had the love market cornered. Oh, and as mother’s are want to point out these little things she told her son he’s incapable of love.

For a guy incapable of love wasn’t Richard pretty broken up over losing Whipper? Has he been with maybe four or five women the entire run of the show?

Anyway enough at least momentarily about Richard’s serial monogamy. Liza grew a heart three sizes that day as she focused her closing on the virtues of love, thereby winning over mama Fish if not the jury who saddled them with a slight fine. The Fishes have decided to renew their vows (if that’s the big wedding...).

Later, feeling inspired one supposes, Richard confessed to Liza that he’s falling in love (?) with her and they steamed up the windows of a taxi on the way to her place.

So that’s another episode down and still no Larry.

©2002 Almost Human