9. "Waiter, there's a nose ring in my soup"

8. "I can't wait to see who wins 'Best Paternity Settlement'"

7. "Courtney Love, please report to Lost and Found to pick up your stash"

6. "Thank God Letterman isn't hosting"

5. "Kiss is here? I thought all those guys were dead"

4. "Uh oh -- they've got Eddie Vedder seated next to the guy from Ticketmaster"

3. "Mr. Jackson, I believe your monkey is in my seat"

2. "I don't care if you are the president of the United States -- get the hell out of my dressing room"

1. "Coolio -- Julio, Julio -- Coolio"