Ways President Clinton Has Fun in New York City (09/24/96)

    10. Visits Little Italy and consumes his weight in cannolis

    9. Sits in Central Park, feeding shredded Whitewater documents to pigeons

    8. Flip-flops for hours on whether to see "Cats" or "Miss Saigon"

    7. Plays saxophone at Carnegie Hall, basks in phony applause from lackeys and yes-men

    6. Interviews replacement hookers for Dick Morris

    5. Nude swimming with Ivana Trump in the Reservoir

    4. Goes to Jets game, laughs his ass off

    3. Just like the rock group KISS: rock and roll all night, party every day

    2. While touring the World Trade Center, joins the "110-Story Club"

    1. Spraypaints overpass with graffiti: "D.C. Puffy #1"

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