ODE TO BAD SNL SKITS THAT NEVER END: Who is Proteus? And did the AMC writers care any more than we did? PCís "Tempted" and "Tainted Love" both vamp tales, two titles doesnít stop it from being one story. Teen field trips on NBC.
SHOCKS TO THE SYSTEM (a.k.a old-fashioned jaw droppers that force you to tune in): PSí Brian is Antonio and Theresa marries Julian. B&Bís Massimo is Ridgeís father. OLTLís R.J. has a daughter and gasp! a storyline. Jessica isnít (or is she?) Vikiís daughter.
GOOD CARTOON Vs. BAD CARTOON: A fine line. DAYSí John Blackís cocked eyebrow is a classic. AMCís Chris Stamp is what you spread on all those Ritz crackers that are advertised on the breaks.
MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS: Cringe as Chloe and Brady relive The Sound of Music. Wince every time Y&Rís Sean and Jill share the screen, especially the strip tease. GLís Reva savior to slaves and Jews, trivialize history thatíll turn out pretty.
BEST PSA: B&Bís Tony finds out heís HIV positive at the same time he falls head over heels for Kristen. The Forresters and Clarke become educated as the couple heads to the altar. Bono would be proud of Zende and the other African orphans. Vintage Agnes Nixon must have been ghostwriting.
TREND MAKING JANE AUSTEN FEEL THOROUGHLY MODERN: Women losing their mind over a man. AMCís Laura and Leslie. ATWTís Julia. GLís Catalina and Tory. Y&Rís Tricia and Brittany. B&Bís Morgan. PSí Kay and Ivy. OLTLís Gina. I could go on.
SINGULAR SENSATIONS: OLTLís Starr (Kristen Alderson) the apple falls nice and close to the tree. ATWTís Bonnie (Napiera Groves) an interracial femme fatale who could teach Erica Kane a thing or two. DAYSí Jack (Matthew Ashford) finally that firing has been corrected. GLís Gus (Ricky Paull Goldin) providing the wit and wisdom absent from the rest of the hour.
MAJOR MISSTEPS: AMCís Anna and Alex should have worn nametags (someone needs Martha Byrne tutelage). PCís dirt bikes, way to be in touch with your audience. GHís frozen mustache twirling dead guy. And could GLís San Cristobel please sink into whatever ocean is nearest of convenience to the writers, we know they enjoy convenience.
CONSISTENT GOODNESS: AS THE WORLD TURNS. Barbara revitalized. Stenbeckís return. Roseís uniqueness. Lily and Holdenís supercoupleness. Emmaís kitchen. Craigís moral ambiguity. Lien and Dante exited way too soon, and Paulís a tad milquetoast considering his lineage, but this is still the show that sets the bar high.
INTERMITTENT GOODNESS: GL introduces the Boudreauxes, ending a lengthy white wash. OLTLís Blair and Toddís rocky marriage. DAYSí Jennifer nervously returns to the dating scene. GHís Luke and Laura minus the doom and gloom.
FUTURE WISHES: AMC - Bianca kisses a girl on camera. ATWT - AWís Joe and Paulina take over the diner. B&B - Macyís alive and well. DAYS - No more brain chips. GL - The return of Ed, Alan-Michael, and Dylan. GH - Brenda and Tracy come home. OLTL - Headline in The Sun: Rappaports declared missing, Buchanans found. PC - Romance and families. PS - A big lavish wedding that ends in marriage. Y&R - Jack outwits Victor.
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