What to Remember, What to Forget

Daytime Soap Opera's Best & Worst of 2004

Writing as Shakespearean as Gigli:

DAYS. Kill beloved characters in graphic violent ways so their resurrections cannot possibly make sense. Then don’t left half of them come home. And by the way the fans don’t love to hate Jan they just hate her. Fake Phillip, Belle, and Billie are ridiculous when you could have the real deal with Brandon, but then why would you want a handsome romantic leading man in a genre built for women?

Couple to Watch:

OLTL. When Heather Tom and Dan Gauthier joined the show their characters were already fairly busted but over the course of a year a genuine chemistry is emerging. This soap is in desperate need for a supercouple and these two may fit the bill if written at the right pace. Even in scenes where they claim to hate one another you can see other emotions surfacing. The teddy bear scene at Christmas could be a great jumping off point if handled with TLC.

The Blueprint for a Soap Hero:

ATWT. Mark Collier as Mike. Nude on screen. Follows Sting’s "if you love someone set them free" thing like gospel, perfect since heartsick never looks better than when this guy pines for Katie. Speaks wonderful garbled French, as in Voulez-vous couchez avec moi? And he gets Henry’s jokes.

Stuff That Makes You Cry, Why? And Cover Your Eyes:

AMC. Edmund and Maria. Let it end. Art shouldn’t choke life.

ATWT. Julia and J.J’s inexplicable hold over the Snyder men.

B&B. If it smells like statutory rape or worse, incest then oddly it’s in no way romantic, so quit it.

DAYS. The three way. Really classy. If you’re Larry Flint.

Random Acts of Prettiness:

AMC. Erica’s sex talks with Danielle and Lily.

ATWT. Aaron sees Ali in her wedding dress at Fashions.

DAYS. Lucas sings "When A Man Loves A Woman" to Sami.

GH. Luke and Skye in the fire.

GL. Harley reads Gus her aborted wedding vows.

PS. Sheridan’s mantilla and red rose.

YR. Devon’s Christmas baking.

Best New Actress:

AMC. Levin Rambin as Lily. The girl wears her heart on her sleeve in every scene; you can’t help but love her unique character striving to mesh her Autism Spectrum Disorder with the big bad world of Pine Valley. Soaps should ditch the cookie cutter roles more often.

Best New Actor:

GL. Tom Pelphrey as Jonathan. The character’s a sleaze and yet he can tear your heart out. The actor should get a whole separate paycheck for body language alone. Words like utterly believable, charismatic and Sean Penn are only the tip of the iceberg with this guy. See him now before it costs you $10.

Ugliness:

ATWT. Larry Bryggman (John) and Benjamin Hendrickson (Hal) let go after years of flawless work in exchange for ABC’s castoffs. Genius. The behind the scenes folks must have learned all their business and artistic acumen from The Apprentice, huh?

Ugliness but...:

GL. Grant Aleksander (Phillip) let go and his character "killed." However this move helped usher in a new renaissance period so it’s forgivable. Almost.

Most Cloying Couple:

AMC. Jamie and Babe. Sparks aplenty when she loved J.R. but together sickeningly sweet. And downright evil if you think about it. They make Christmas crafts while Bianca, J.R., Kelly, and Kevin suffer. Are we supposed to root for these two or call for their heads?

Classic Scenes:

AMC. Erica’s intervention, particularly with Kendall and Bianca.

ATWT. Nancy and Alison doing anything especially lying about pottery.

B&B. Eric tells Thorne he’s proud of him at the fashion showdown.

DAYS. The camera pans the Horton Christmas tree, a reminder of what this show could be again with some intellect.

GH. Sam loses her baby.

GL. Two. The montage at Phillip’s funeral. And Jonathan in the fountain just like mom Reva.

OLTL. Bo and Nora debating the merits of dipping French fries or smothering them.

PS. Endorra’s turkeys.

YR. Two. Damon describes his son’s death. To date the character’s only quality scenes. And Michael and Kevin’s boxing match.

And Finally a few... Whats?!?:

AMC. Bianca and J.R. did not grow up together. Quit saying they did.

B&B: High-schooler Caitlin becomes full-fledged couture designer. In Los Angeles.

DAYS: Chloe didn’t care about her appearance her first six months in Salem now she’s so shallow she fakes her death?

PS. Why can’t the parents be older than their children? At least by a little, five years maybe. Please.

YR. A few years ago Nikki married psychiatrist Joshua. Why didn’t that trigger her memory that she killed a boy of the same name? When Shemar Moore was leaving the writers claimed that he is not Lily’s father and never will be. End of story. Apparently not. The fibbers.

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