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Most Satisfying ExitAlyvia Alyn Lind as Y&R’s Faith Newman. It seemed inevitable since Lind was a very little girl that with her incredible natural acting ability she would at some point move on to primetime or the movies. We were lucky to watch her grow up in Genoa City for as long as she did and luckier still that her swan song timed out to be the first story that she truly carried rather than playing a supporting (or less) role to her parents or grandparents. Bullied, pressured to party, cat-fished, driving drunk and without a license and bearing the emotional weight of terrifying her parents into wondering if they may lose a second daughter to a car accident, it was a decided step up into mature content for the actress and really a pleasure for the audience to be left with such a strong impression of her work and growth in the role.Least RomanticGeneral Hospital. The quickened pace of daytime hasn’t done their romantic storytelling any favors, I’d say the all the soaps (with the possible exception of Days) are all suffering a certain amount of romantic woes these days, it just feels particularly pronounced on General Hospital right now perhaps because of their strong track record with past supercouples, the difference between the state of romance in the eighties and nineties and now is downright glaring. Elizabeth and Finn. Dante and Sam. Michael and Willow. Brando and Sasha. Curtis and Portia. Laura and Kevin. Sonny and Carly (are they still even romantic partners, at best they seem more like friends than spouses). Cam and Josslyn. It’s like they’re all in a competition for most boring and least chemistry. Read back over that list of names, that’s nearly every couple on the show that simply isn’t working. And don’t point to Scotty and Obrecht, their relationship is jokey not swoony, if you saw him with Dominique you know there’s a drastic difference between the two and that he can in fact do swoony. Aside from how Spencer looks at Trina and some potential between Chase and Brook Lynn, the romantic landscape is as bleak as Christmas in Port Charles. The best thing GH could do right now is another mass breakup of these couples and this time, instead of deciding on paper who should be couples and forcing it on screen, have characters cross paths in everyday scenarios, like getting coffee, going to the gym, whatever, don’t write flirtation into the scenes just watch and see who organically sparks with who and then proceed without any contrived plotting.Best BreakupBill and Justin’s friendship, The Bold and The Beautiful. For the record I want these two to mend fences, double cross Ridge, and appear on screen more than once every three months, but the disintegration of their friendship earlier this year was easily the best drama B&B offered this year. Sure, B&B could have done a much better job of showing the buildup of Justin’s resentment towards his boss, giving us a month or two of reaction shots where he was feeling exasperated in his role as Bill’s minion and longing for his own power. That said, when suddenly Justin kidnapped Thomas in an effort to keep Bill in jail and claim the CEO seat for himself, Aaron D. Spears totally sold me on Justin’s animosity towards his one-time pal Bill, the monologues this guy delivered in his visits with Thomas were so compelling with Justin very much a man who had reached his limit and was not going to take it anymore. It was a performance I did not know this actor had in him all because B&B had never given him that kind of opportunity before (and haven’t since). The confrontational moment that would end their friendship/partnership, saw Don Diamont doing some of his most emotional work ever, it seemed like the loss of that friendship was far more gutting for Bill than any of his busted romances, I loved that he put up that hard shell front you’d expect from Bill yet allowed how tender, how hurt Bill was to show through, too.Worst ReturnThe Devil, Days Of Our Lives. Yeah I know back in the day Days supposedly had a bump in the younger demo when they did the possession story so you can understand why they’d be tempted to go there again (although I mean it’s not like younger demos and the supernatural gave Passions any longevity), but did anyone bother to dig deeper into these demographics and actually pinpoint whether that demo bump resulted in long-term gains or were those viewers just mock-watching the cheesiness for a few weeks and gone? What about the regular overall viewership of Days back then, did their numbers rise or fall at that time, did anyone in the current regime check that out before deciding to foist this overly long story on us again? I get that the devil’s return made headlines that soaps don’t ordinarily garner, but is a handful of eyeballs temporarily attracted by press really worth any of the precious few daily viewers being so turned off by this nonsense that they quit watching? I can tell you this, back in the day I was the young demographic and I hated the possession story as much then as I do now. I hate the voice distortion, the glowing eyes, and the levitation. I hate that the show wastes money on special effects that could be better spent on a new set or a beloved actor we’ve lost to budget cuts. I especially hate how the devil’s “powers” are extremely inconsistent, seemingly only existing for the writers’ convenience, I mean, the devil can hop into any body it wants yet it had to run away with Ciara and Ben rather than just abandon Marlena for someone else’s body? And if you can body hop, how do you end up tied up and exorcised? It’s all just so dumb, insulting to our intelligence and insulting to those who have made Days appointment television for decades only to have the show court new viewers at the expense of our entertainment. One can only hope this is over for another twenty-five years.
Most Valuable PlayerSydney Mikayla (Trina), General Hospital. Even after she’d been duped by Spencer there was nothing of the old school victim soap heroine in Mikayla’s Trina, she is reliably inspiring to behold with her emotional strength, her ambitions, and a moral code she stays true to without stepping over the line of Carly/Michael/Alexis hypocritical self-righteousness. Trina’s also fun, especially when she’s telling it like it is, a quality Spencer adores in her, and their sparks are pretty much the only thing keeping romance alive in Port Charles right now. Then there are the adult characters who greatly benefit from sharing scenes with this young woman as she brings out a wonderfully soft side of Ava and unfortunately since GH hasn’t yet done much to develop Portia’s character, the warmth we feel towards Portia is due in large part to the mother/daughter rapport cultivated between these two actresses. Bottom line, when you turn on GH and see Sydney Mikayla’s featured that day, you’re assured a good episode.Worst Lazy HabitThe Young and The Restless frequently serving up standalone episodes that don’t even remotely advance the plot (or what little plot Y&R even has these days). While the episode focused on Abby’s fertility issues wasn’t without merit, otherwise, there was little point and nothing accomplished in framing entire episodes around Victoria, Adam, Jack, Phyllis, Nick and whoever else (frankly they all follow such a similar pattern that it’s easy to lose track especially when Billy has had basically the same taking stock of his life episode at least three times in recent years like he isn’t cloying enough in small doses let alone taking over an entire episode). Spending an episode with one character naval gazing in scenes that aren’t actually canon but rather fantasy/dream sequences, it gets a viewer to thinking that when they identify an episode as being a standalone they could just shut off their TV and come back the next day without really feeling like they’d missed anything. Making it easy for the viewer to skip episodes is not a smart business model, you’d think a soap with so many competing “media” companies would figure that out.Best FamilyPrices/Carvers/Hortons, Days Of Our Lives. Diversity has long been an issue for the daytime soaps but Days has edged closer lately to righting that long-term wrong by introducing Lani’s Aunt turned mom Paulina played by the always entertaining Jackee Harry who brought her impeccable comic timing and strong dramatic skills to Salem. From there we met Paulina’s daughter portrayed by two fantastic young finds, the effervescent Precious Way (catch her on ABC’s Queens) and Raven Bowens who may have dialed back Chanel a little but brings oodles of chemistry to her scenes with Ally, Johnny, and even Tripp, so that her romantic possibilities are limitless. Then there are the appearances by Jackee’s 227 co-star Marla Gibbs as the hilariously cantankerous Big Mama Olivia. Add to that trio of Prices, Lani, Eli, Abe, babies Carver and Jules and there’s a depth and breadth of black characters/personalities like we’ve never seen before in Salem. The wonders it has done for Abe and Lani, giving Abe a seriously conflicted romance and emotional turmoil for father and daughter as they come to terms with not sharing a biological bond and Lani reeling from the news that her Aunt is really her mother. That moment in Horton Square with Lani reluctantly accepting a Christmas gift from Paulina at Eli and Abe’s urging was everything I’d want Christmas in Salem to be, as was Julie and Eli hanging the twins’ ornaments, as Days happily never neglects Eli and his grandma’s love for one another and his ties to the legendary Hortons.Most Embarrassing StoryEric’s Sex Life, The Bold And The Beautiful. Erectile dysfunction is a medical issue, I am not suggesting that it is something to be embarrassed about, it’s the way B&B handled literally everything about that medical issue that was embarrassing for all involved, including the viewers. Maybe I could buy a scenario where a man without a close friend would confide in his eldest son about his problem in a private setting, however, I cannot fathom any family spending as much time as the Forresters and Logans did in openly discussing (including in the workplace) their patriarch’s inability to perform in bed. Then there’s the baffling thought that the show has numerous writers and not a one of them scripted that there are other ways to sexually satisfy a woman? What do they think lesbians do, hire a man to join them? It’s also tough to imagine that sexually adventurous Quinn (remember the bondage with Bill?) wouldn’t have tried several “tactics” to arouse Eric before agreeing to having a sidepiece. And really, she agreed super fast, like I don’t think even a day passed before she was all over Carter again, yet we were supposed to believe she’s deeply in love with Eric? Then there was the damage this storytelling did to both men involved. Carter this sweet, intelligent lawyer was essentially reduced to a stud for hire. Meanwhile Eric wandered around his home looking all forlorn like he had nothing better to do than wait around for his wife to return from her sexcapades. Eric’s dignity took hit after hit, starting with apologizing to Quinn when she’s the one who cheated (before he gave permission) and for some reason he kept his wife’s lover on as his lawyer/CFO and as a frequent guest at his home. Then of course there were those aforementioned family discussions about Eric’s condition which were entirely humiliating and that speech (very well acted by John McCook) in which he describes himself as a lonely old man with no choice other than to hold on to Quinn by loaning her out to Carter because if he doesn’t have her he wouldn’t have anyone (except for the fact that he’s rich and handsome and would in reality at his age still have no problem landing another beautiful woman in Los Angeles). And just when it seemed like the story had reached its peak of discomfort for all, Eric and Donna flirted at the office, sucking honey off of fingers and swelling music coincided with Eric’s swelling anatomy and I think we all vomited just a little, didn’t we? And then we vomited a little more when Eric fired Donna at Quinn’s request while Carter maintains a position of power at the company, again. Where was Donna’s backbone, where was the moment when she said to her honeybear that no, it’s not okay to treat me this way, where were the wrongful termination and sexual harassment lawsuits?
The Bold And The BeautifulHighs- “I hope he’s not being a waffle,” Thomas on Liam – Liam was so upset that he ate a roast beef and cheese sandwich. - Bill “dancing” on Vinny’s grave – “I can’t take your word on anything relating to travel,” Ridge to Justin who once dumped Ridge out of a helicopter. - “At least you don’t have to officiate any more Forrester family weddings,” Quinn to Carter after their affair became public. - photographer Ellen Von Unworth cameo (why doesn’t this show court more real-life fashion people to make appearances?) – Ridge’s speech giving away bride Steffy – Paris’s ever changing hair colors, easily the most stylish aspect of the show – It very much felt like they were plagiarizing their own show by having Paris sing at a Dodger’s game like Maya did, but Diamond White was definitely up to the task of singing that tricky tune – Carter and Katie bond over their miserable luck in love – Ridge’s off-the-cuff Thanksgiving speech - Sheila and Deacon’s Thanksgiving fantasies, mercifully short and funny – Any character exhibiting the good sense not to trust Deacon or SheilaLows – The baffling wardrobes. So many indoor hats. Sultry Brooke in Stephanie style boxy pantsuits. Zoe and Paris went to the office daily dressed like they’d stepped out of a clown car. Uptight Hope dressing loose and free like she’s going to Coachella. How did no one other than Bill (Wyatt, I will talk to you later about why you’re dressed like a grape.”) comment on the questionable taste level of people supposedly in the fashion industry? - The ridiculous amount of time it took for Finn to spit out that he’s the baby daddy – Liam asked Thomas to be there for Hope and the kids while he was in prison, super believable – Rewriting Taylor to make it seem like she’s always crusaded around the world to save people with psychiatry and while she was away Brooke swooped in and stole Ridge even though that’s totally not how it was. Also why has no one mentioned her involvement in Steffy adopting Hope’s baby? - Thirtysomething Hope can only meet with her daddy at her mommy’s house? She can’t go to a restaurant or you know, ask daddy where he lives? And she’s so busy whining about Ridge not respecting her desire for a relationship with her father yet she has no concern for how Bridget might feel about her inviting Deacon back into their family - What “remarkable” psychiatrist would recommend dealing with a psychopathic stalker by inviting them deeper into your life? The definition of insanity. Wishes – Robin Strasser as Eric’s first age appropriate love interest in eons, fierce, glamorous, and toting plenty of baggage with her own kids and grandkids (and make her offspring mixed race, half latinx, Korean, or any one of the other prominent cultures in LA that isn’t currently represented on the show) – An atelier set, real designers do not design in the CEO’s office or whatever that office is supposed to be across the hall, literally all you need is a bare bones room with a mannequin, a vision board, a rack of clothes, and a big table to work at, and the show would look a thousand times more authentic. -Backstory for Paris, we never did find out why Zoe had such issues with her little sis Paris, let’s dig into Paris’s personality and what happened in her past, what she thinks of her dad, maybe bring on her mom and show Paris doing her actual job at the office rather than for whatever reason advising the designers, just do everything possible to further help define who Paris is because after more than a year on the show, we still have no idea. Days Of Our LivesHighs – Linda Dano pinch-hitting as Vivian, it was mostly the loony tunes type of storytelling I don’t really care for on Days but superb seeing her nonetheless – Ben and Ciara’s Romeo and Juliet – Cady McClain’s Jennifer “once had a bad experience with pancakes” in a nod to Dixie’s “death” on AMC – Rafe and Ava eating tacos plus all the simple everyday scenes in Rafe’s kitchen, it’s a genuinely homey setting unlike so many of the sterile gray rooms on soaps in recent years- Lucas and Sami’s affair – “Of all the bedrooms in all the world why did I have to walk into hers?” Lucas about Sami -the successful recasting of EJ – “It’s called magic, that’s what we have here,” Lucas to Sami, in easily the most romantic declaration on soaps this year -”He wasn’t standing there like he was smelling something bad was he?” Rafe to Lucas about EJ, one of the many ways they hilariously mocked their rival – the raw realness of Eric and Nicole’s breakup – “Who the hell are you? I don’t care.” EJ to Gwen and echoing viewers thoughts. – Chloe and Phillip’s fried chicken induced kiss – Victor’s finger-guns after manipulating Jake and Gabi – Phillip emotionally breaking down with his mom after he framed Brady. - Phillip and Lucas bonding over their ill-advised scheming to win Chloe and Sami – Carver and Jules, two of the most adorable babies on earth looking on as Eli and Julie hung their ornaments on the Horton tree.Lows – Chad had sex with Gwen – the recreated flashbacks of Jennifer, Laura, etc., from back when Laura decided to payoff Gwen’s mom, the wigs and clothing were horrendous, and the weird affected accents even worse, it played more like a spoof mocking soap operas. – It seems like Ben and Ciara are only ever held captive/tortured or having sex, it’s getting old quick and endangering their supercoupledom – Every single time Kristen put on a “mask” - Ciara’s amnesia and Theo taking advantage of it – Theo no longer exhibiting signs of autism, which is a shame, it would be great to see an adult character navigating life on the spectrum – April Fool’s day nonsense – any moment involving Jan – Duke the talking teddy bear - The tone-deafness of following up a serious rape storyline by having the rape survivor terrorized by her “dead” rapist on Halloween and scripting it like it was escapist fun -Years of Nicole’s character growth undermined by falling into bed with Xander then Rafe – We finally see the Horton dining room only there were barely any Hortons at Thanksgiving and the devil showed up - Just when Phillip’s jealousy issues started to have some layers he was sent out of town – the Horton angel burst into flames. Wishes – The show stays away from convenient plot devices for one entire year, no “the devil made her do it”, no masks, no doppelgangers, no back from the dead, if they write their way into a corner they find an actually creative and plausible way out. - Tired of hospital politics and catering to elite patients like curmudgeonly Victor Kiriakis, Kayla reopens the old waterfront clinic, a plan Steve opposes due to the sketchy location while she insists on helping the underserved of the community, Steve’s solution is to outwardly support her endeavor and privately stakeout the place which leads to Steve and Kayla having very different interactions with/responses to what to do about/for a teen without a home or family – Gabi’s daughter comes home, let’s see Gabi juggle romance with someone who isn’t her baby daddy (nor has any experience being one), with her desire to be a mogul, and a kid who is every bit as hard to keep in line as her mom. General HospitalHighs - “Talking to her is like being hit by a cyclone,” Anna about Maxie’s double wedding plans – “It may be a foreign concept to you but not all mothers eat their young,” Martin to Valentin – “Should I know you?” Jackie to Martin - “The world’s friendliest puppy,” Gregory aptly describing his son Chase – Cam talking to himself in the mirror to be strong for Franco’s cancer battle and shaving his head in solidarity- Cam’s refusal to believe Franco was dead until the gutting moment he saw the body – If we can’t have Maxie and Lulu, at least we have the Maxie and Brook Lynn team up - Ned serenading his “grandchild” – Brook Lynn’s bodyguard Yuri – the return of the Pioneer Scout – Ava telling Trina she’s like another daughter to her -Spencer and Trina’s chemistry – Spencer working at Kelly’s – Valentin’s goodbye to Bailey. - Lucy and Martin hook up - Brad’s fierce Aunt Selina Wu.Lows - Carly kidnapped an elderly woman – drunken Alexis stabbed Dante and sentenced us all to months of prison scenes and somehow she behaves high and mighty judging Nikolas when her own life choices have been atrocious, too. – For some reason Wylie was forbidden from knowing that Nina is his grandmother but Nell had visitation with him so the kid did know Willow wasn’t his bio-mom and therefore he had another grandma out there – Franco killed off for no reason, blowing up GH’s best family – Elizabeth’s lack of grieving – Sam talked Dante down deprogramming him in minutes yet no psychiatrist, including Kevin, could do the same? – Years ago half the town knew Nikolas was behind Hayden’s shooting, including Shawn who accepted the prison sentence as penance for his own misdeeds involving Tommy and others, absurd and unbelievable yes but a choice the character made without any thoughts of vengeance or compensation from Nikolas, fast forward to this year suddenly neither Shawn nor those other characters knew the truth anymore – Maxie tattled on her friend/family Nina to Carly – Brando stripping at Carly’s shower – Joss given more airtime and outrage than Kristina over Nina hiding that Kristina’s father Sonny was alive – Elizabeth judging Nina when she hid Jason from Sam (yes, he was Drew, but Liz thought he was Jason) – Dante and Sam marked Jason’s death (the love of her life) by having sex for the first time, so sweet and sexy, right? – Michael fast approaching Carly and Jason’s intolerable levels of self-righteousness – another bleak holiday in Port Charles, they’ve taken their Dickens Christmas of a few years ago too much too heart. Wishes – One of Nina’s reporters brings her a story of an entrepreneur/philanthropist really coming up in the world yet his background is a mystery, turns out it’s back from the dead Morgan and an opportunity for Nina to make good with Carly – Terri and Drew bump into each other at Oscar’s Meadow, she still thinks about her late-patient in part because she envies him finding his father and forging a good relationship, Terri herself has toyed with the idea of seeking out her birth parents. Drew offers to help (a quiet, slow burning romance develops between them in the process) and he discovers that Terri’s mom was none other than Brad’s notorious Aunt Selina Wu. Terri makes the difficult decision to do nothing with this information as she doesn’t want ties to the mafia, however, Selina Wu ends up being diagnosed with cancer and enlisting Terri as her doctor. - One house, one apartment, even just one wall that isn’t gray and instead pops with color so that PC stops looking like the most drab/dreary town on earth. The Young And The RestlessHighs – “I’m thinking of rolling the window down and throwing Billy out over Iowa,” Kyle, when forced to share a jet with Billy. – two solid moments for Rey, giving Sharon the ultimatum about Adam and looking legitimately ill when poisoned – Victor being very Victor-like in refusing to get medical help for Ashland until he signed their business deal – Nick and Adam in the tornado storm cellar – “A whole new batch of dad jokes fresh from Kansas so they’re extra corny,” Nick to daughter Faith. - Adam’s bedside apology to faith – Adam and Nick attempt to bond over baseball – “Billy Boy, you have been and always will be a pain in the ass!” Victor, of course. – “Why don’t you take a long walk off a short cliff?” Victor speaking to Billy and speaking for many of us viewers. - Nina grieving Chance. - Victor complimenting Nick on what a good dad he is.Lows – Kyle took to fatherhood too willingly and Tara had no presence/personality thus a story with potential instantly turned into a dud. - Jack and Sally dating – Amanda’s family mystery happened in a past we never saw and mostly involved players we didn’t know well enough to care about - Genius casting Telma Hopkins (a.k.a. Bryton’s mom on Family Matters) but wasted when they didn’t do anything fun with it - Ashland’s backstory, one convoluted layer on top of the next with zero consequences – Stitch’s return, even unhinged he still managed to be boring and if you want to keep the viewers guessing don’t show him lurking outside Abby’s home, heroes don’t lurk, stalkers do – If you pay the salary for Summer and Kyle to appear in a couple episodes why was it for Victoria’s wedding rather than their own? – Jack in love again with Phyllis who habitually cheats on him – I don’t know which was more anticlimactic Victoria’s wedding or her overhyped dress – And also talking fashion, in the homeland of Armani, velvet suits, really? If your name isn’t Jason Momoa, stay away from the velvet. - No one in the audience believed Chance was dead and voila five seconds later he’s alive, another example of Y&R’s ongoing struggle with basic story structure. - Between Devon and Mariah, Y&R is doing a terrible disservice to surrogacy and sperm donation, emphasizing all of the fear and none of the joy it has brought to many families. Wishes – Elena, no stranger to infidelity, slowly falls for a bad boy charmer of a patient, not only is she on the border of violating medical ethics and tempted to cheat on Nate, making matters worse this guy is a half brother Nate didn’t know about from back when his dad Nathan ran around on Olivia – In an attempt to fix her young and already shaky marriage it turns out Rey’s mom faked her pregnancy with him. She adopted Rey from an anonymous by choice woman who in labor accidentally revealed Jack Abbott’s the dad. Working class Rey is uncomfortable with the Abbott wealth (not to mention that dad once married Sharon) but Jack’s desperate to bond with his son, trying humorously hard even trading his custom suit for blue jeans. When Rey decides he needs to know why his birth mom gave him up, Jack tries to help track the woman down and it becomes a father/son adventure (since this woman was from Jack’s playboy era even when you narrow it to Latina candidates it’s still a long list to investigate). - Someone at school takes issue with Moses and Faith’s interracial romance, not only does it give these two young actors meatier material than the overly sweet scenes they’ve shared so far, it would give the show an opportunity to acknowledge race in a way they generally don’t, just please don’t be heavy handed, keep it real.
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