Q & A with Sean Kanan
(Jude, Sunset Beach)

SEAN KANAN played the part of an alcoholic on "General Hospital," but in real life his own drinking problem forced him to leave the show. Now, two years after conquering his addiction, Kanan is back with a new series and a new lease on life.

Entertainment Tonight: Tell us about who you are going to be playing on "Sunset Beach."

Sean Kanan: I'm going to be playing a character whose name is Jude Cavanaugh. He comes to town with a mysterious secret, which I'm not even quite sure of yet. (laughs)

That's about all I know because when I screen tested for the part, we used kind of a generic scene for the test, which really doesn't have a lot to do with how the character's involvement with the other characters is going to be. I'm just starting to get scripts now and find out about it, which is exciting. I have no preconceived notions about who the character is going to be.

ET: You don't know if he's a playboy, a good guy or bad guy?

Sean: Well, I think he's definitely a guy who is sort of edgy and kind of a dangerous character. He's definitely involved in the business aspect of the show, the Liberty Corporation, and he's also involved with several of the women on the show. I think he probably is a little bit of a playboy.

ET: Have you been told if you are going to have a love interest?

Sean: I think that's a pretty safe bet. I think the first actress I'm going to be working with is SARAH BUXTON, who plays Annie. I've got some great scenes that I've already had sent to me that I'm going to start tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to that.

ET: So, we haven't seen you on daytime in the past couple of years. What have you been doing?

Sean: Yes, I've been off for a year and a half or two years now, and in that time I've done some episodic appearances and I've been kind of busy cleaning my own house. I'm really excited to be back, working steadily, on TV again. I think this has really been a blessing for me that Mr. [AARON] SPELLING has taken that chance to hire me again, to give me what I think is a great opportunity, and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm in the process of finishing two feature films right now. It's so true -- they say in this business it's feast or famine, and right now it's really good. I've been incredibly busy and I like being busy -- I'm definitely my happiest when I'm working a lot.

ET: Haven't you been screenwriting some?

Sean: Yes! Screenwriting is something that I've been doing. I write a lot of poetry and I also do screenwriting. I've been doing that for a couple of years now. I currently have my third script that I've completed and we're hopefully going into pre--production very shortly on it. It's called 'Christmas with J.D.' It's kind of been my baby. It's been a project that I've been working on for two years now. It's one of those things that happens with fits and starts -- you make a little progress with it and it looks like something is moving ahead, and just when the screenwriting kicks in, the acting kicks back in. I've always believed that the best thing for me personally is to have as many irons in the fire as possible. I think I've been fortunate in times when the screenwriting has not been kind of on the front burner -- the acting has been and vice versa.

ET: You alluded a minute ago about cleaning you own house. I would like to ask you what it was that caused you to abruptly leave "General Hospital" a couple of years ago. Was there an incident?

Sean: I don't think there was one specific incident. I think I was... I don't think I knew I was struggling with my own alcoholism, and it was definitely a difficult period for me. It was difficult for a lot of reasons, not the least of which I was also playing an alcoholic on TV. It was difficult because I was very much living that existence in my own private life, and then recreating it somewhat at work. One of the biggest things that has happened to me since leaving the show has been getting my own sobriety together -- and that's a lot of what I've been doing the last few years. Acting is absolutely one of my foremost loves but for me, if your life isn't together, nothing else falls into place. There were a lot of lessons I needed to learn. These last two years have been the most difficult of my life.

ET: Were there meetings involved? Did you have a support group?

Sean: I had a tremendous amount of support. That was one of the first things I had to realize. I've always been a very independent person, and I really needed to come to the understanding that this was something that I was going to have to deal with. I've had tremendous help and support from my family, my fiance Athena and my friends. Although the last two years has been probably the most painful and difficult of my life for a lot of reasons, like I wasn't working as an actor as much as I wanted to. Because I'd been struggling so much with internal demons I've had to deal with, which I think a lot of people have had to deal with, as I've come to learn.

I don't think, with the exception of the people who love and care about me that I've hurt, that I would trade these past two years for anything. It's been an incredible period of growth. I've gotten a lot of understanding about myself, which has offered me something I'd never had before -- which is a sense of peace. From there, it seems like I've built this foundation that's allowing me to go on and do things like going on the cast of "Sunset Beach" again, and be confident that not only am I going to do the job well, but I'll be happy while I'm doing it. I'll hopefully bring everything I have inside of me to the job. I think that everything happens for a reason -- it sounds cliche, but I've come to believe it. I needed to go through what I did to kind of emerge out the other side and become the guy that I am now.

ET: The character that you had played on the other show would black out and go on these binges where he couldn't function -- you said it paralleled your real life. Could you describe to me what you were going through?

Sean: I don't know that necessarily the specifics of my own alcohol use are tremendously pertinent. I think that my experiences while I was drinking are probably, in many ways, similar to a lot of people who were dealing with alcoholism. I'm sure in some ways they were very singular to myself. I could sit here and give you a lot of war stories -- I'd rather not. They're very fresh in my memory, and for me that's a positive thing to keep them fresh, because it allows me to remember where I am, but I also don't want to dwell on them to the point that it keeps me from moving forward.

ET: When was it you realized that you had a problem and needed to get help?

Sean: I don't think I ever used alcohol like a normal guy. I can remember from the time I was fifteen that I didn't. I would say that really right around the second year or so I was doing "General Hospital," it started to become more than a reoccurring issue -- I think it's definitely something that's progressive. It gets worse if one doesn't deal with it, and I tried on several occasions to deal with it. I think the final straw was when I had a DUI and that really was it for me. I realized that my days of drinking were over -- I simply couldn't do it. God bless people that can. There's a lot of times that I wish that I still could, but I can't. In a sense, that realization gave me a lot of closure, because for a long time I was vacillating back and forth thinking maybe I can. Sometimes I would and it would be okay and sometimes it wouldn't. It was that back and forth situation that caused me a lot of conflict. I think once I was finally ready to say, "Okay, I'm ready to quit. I'm going to get some help and I'm going to do what I need to do to get my life in order," it was freeing -- it was very liberating to take the weight off my shoulders and say, "Okay, I'm done."

ET: So this was a catharsis for you?